Sunshine After Rain ( ?? )

Knock knock ! Who's that ? Insomnia came knocking on my door again . Ugh ! I hate her ! I hate her ! I hate Miss Insomnia ! Fxck her . I wasn't homed ytd . & i didn't went for my lesson . How muddlehead am i ? It's Lit class yet i'v forgotten to bring along my story book . So i stupidly took e' train from yishun to yck & back to khatib . Went my 婆婆 house to find her & ah boy . & last min decision to stay overnight there . I didn't brought along my specs . & my contact lens is torturing me ! ); 婆婆 showed me 公公 pics when he was young . Didn't know my 公公 was so handsome in e' past ! Haha ! 我好想他! 多么希望我可以回到以前 ); 可是我知道这是个不可能的事. 公公, 你知道我有很多很多话想告诉你吗？快来到我的梦里! Life is so fragile . It's so unpredictable . What if one day my parents is gone just like that ? (Choy!) I think i would get into depression & go haywire . Serious serious ! 说了那么多，我还是放不下我的公公! E' world is gg to an end in 2012 ? I've tons of unfufiling tasks yet to be done . How ? (哭) Nvrm la , let's perished tgt !

& today ! I happily went for my fave subject lesson , english ! But i was late for an hr ); 又迟到! I slept at 2am plus & woke up at 6am plus . I'm nuts ~ & baby finally book out ! He's sleeping like a log now . Played harvestmoon on his psp . But i prefer my gameboy's harvestmoon when i'm pri 4 ! Haha ! How how ? I can't sleep you know ? I spent my wee hours on fb doing lame quizzes . & i just did ' What kind of guy do i attract ' I sound so vain ==' This is what i get .

Don't hate the player, hate the game! You exude confidence and know how to hold yourself. This may intimidate other men, but not these types of boys. He is a huge flirt, and a bit cocky, but you liked that he knew what he wanted, and that he wanted you. You like to have a good time and are very adventurous in all aspects of life, but you really just want a good guy to be with. He isn't going to change his ways.

This sounds so right like baby . Big BUT ! But but .. This phrase dsn't sound right to me 'He isn't going to change his ways' Oh god ! KILL ME PLEASE !

& i took another quiz . Which animal personality do i have or something ? & i love e' answer from it ! Cos' i love eagle ! I love being part of em' ! I just think ey're so so so cool & charming !

You have an Eagle personality. These Birds of Prey are some of the wildest of nature's beings. Though they can be tamed they always retain some of their wild spirit. Most see the Eagle as a wandering spirit but it only seems that way to the untrained eye. In actuality you as an Eagle personality have issues being tied down in relationships and in places sometimes not because you want to be elsewhere just that you want the freedom to be elsewhere if you choose. You aren't the most trusting individual but you are the most well known. Eagle personalities are few and far between but they tend to stand out in a crowd as if they don't belong with them, mainly because they are fairly solitary: they might be the artist who sits in the corner and doesn't communicate, they might be the popular person who has lots of acquaintances but very few actual friends. Being an Eagle means you have an inner core of strength which you unfortunately have to use quite frequently since you are uncomfortable leaning on others and have difficulties sharing your personal and innermost thoughts. Eagles get along great with foxes and bears but should try to stay away from a wolf or Horse personality.

What is your love story ?
You have a great relationship with your boyfriend. In fact, it seems you're already in love.

What kind of parent am i ?
You have a great balance between rules and fun! Your kids think you are the best!!

What kind of princess am i ?
Princess Cinderella ! You are a reality princess that cries when she feels sad. You are an interesting beautiful person. You have the courage to achieve your dreams. You smile alot. You are an intellegent person with brilliant ideas. You will soon find your prince and live happily ever after.

Are you hard to get ?
You are the Best!!! You know how to get a guy down on his knees and beg for your attention! To have a guy stalk you and be "wimped" cuz of you! Nice job girl!

What stereotype am i ?
youhh are popular and everybody knows youhh. people either like youhh or hate youhh and there is no in between. youhh can be very bitchyy and some of youhhr friends may not be true. maybe start being nicer and people will start liking youhh more, if not, be careful because the world mayy turn against youhh

What is your fairytale ending ?
You've got the feminine airs, charm and good looks to win over even the most content bachelor. You long for someone to protect and understand you in our less than fairytale world. Even though at times you might feel like he's never going to come and rescue you, like Cinderella, your patience will be rewarded!

How crazy am i ?
YOU ARE SOOOOO CRAZY!!! There's just a bit of your normality left deep down inside of your being. Maybe next time you go shopping check the sugar percentage on all of your food. IT MUST BE TOO HIGH!!!

What kind of boy should i be with ?
You need a bestfriend boy. It sounds very boring, but it's really not. This could turn into the most passionate relationship ever! You need someone that is just fun to be around, without all the mushy gushy stuff all the time. You want to be able to be yourself around a guy, and just hangout like you do with your friends. You also probably value being able to have a conversation that has to do with more than how much you "miss" or "love" eachother. If you have a bestfriend that's a guy, don't be afraid to DATE HIM! He could turn out to be the perfect guy for you. And if you don't have a guy bestfriend already, then find one! If you meet a guy you might be interested in, see if you can just be friends before you climb into the relationship.

& i wanna go discovery centre ! Baby promised to go with me . I sound kiddy ); But its so fun over there ! Reminds me of my pri/sec school excursion . Cool ! Will be gg on sat ! Bringing my cousin along !

Will nt be updating or on9 till sun . Am' staying over at my granny's place .

It's 6.36am now . Birds are chirping alrdy . God ! I gonna crawl onto my bed & hugged baby to sleep . Nights !

I Hate This Feeling In Life !

History lesson today ! I'm lovin' it ;D I was late for an hour . Expected ;/ Always as tardy as ever ! & i hate e' time now ); It's 1.27am . I'v nothing better to do except to blog & fb ! It's so so so boring can ?! My life is in a recycle of - use comp , sleep , wakeup , bathe , go school , reach home , eat & e' recycle goes on & on , again . =='

& i was browsing thru an on9 shop & it sells Ralph Lauren's tote . Is this nice ? I wanna get one for school . Or longchamp is better ? Hmm hmm ..



I camwhored again ;/











Why is e' feeling of guilt ain't going away ? I'm feeling so terrible . I just can't accept e' fact he's gone . Whenever i see his photos it reminded me to cherish someone before you lost him/her . He'll be e' one who opened e' door for me whenever i reached his house . He's e' one who fetch me from sch in e' past . He's e' one who used to pat me to sleep when i was young . He's e' one who teached me my english homeworks . He's e' one who'll acc me to watch tv till late night even though he's tired/sleepy . He's e' one who is always giving me $$ afraid that i've not enough to spend . I felt so empty . When i close my eyes i could see him smiling at me . I dn't want him to go to another world . I know i can't be so selfish . Why must he suffer so much in life ? Those illness . What wrong has he done in e' past life ? How i wished i could take all those sufferings from him . & make him lead a better life . If i had a choice , i'm willing to sacrifice my life for his . I dn't wanna end up living my life with this memory on my head . You know ? E' feeling of losing someone in your family so close to you is million times heartbroken en' breaking up with your boyfriend ? Why am i crying in e' late night when i'm alone ? He's gone . Forever gone . I hate e' emotional part of me ! Why do i have to breakdown easily ? Why do i have to shed tears so easily ? Why can't i be stronger ?

在天堂的公公，我们永远怀念着你。

Love Dosen't Makes The World Goes Round ,
But It Makes The Ride Worthwhile .

These are pics long ago .
I like this . E' background is not edited ! It's really a huge crowd of people when we're counting down @ marina sq. for 09' .

11 months at esplanade (; Self shot .

Reminiscing back to e' past . I've forgotten how we first met . Until baby reminded me that we actually met each other in club ! I hated him for drinking my drink in e' club then ==' I rmbr i left my drink on e' table & went dwn e' dancefloor . When i came back for my drink , it was finished ;/ By who ? Him . Z ! & he said we actually knw each other for a very long period of time but we dn't really talk to each other . I knew he send me a message in friendster claiming that i'm very familiar . (Laughs) Wondering where am i now & who i'll be ending up with if i didn't get tgt with him back then ? I'm randomly typing these now . Cos' i'm suffering from insomnia ! Gosh ! I'm having sleepless nights everyday . Help me pleaseeee ! I didn't attend today's maths lesson again . I hate maths , maths & maths okay ! Shit ass . I wanna sing K ! But i'm broke very very broke now ! How how how ? God please save me !

Turning in very soon . But i knw i'll be tossing & turning on my bed for few hrs );

Goodnight earthlings . May my fringe be very long in no time !

This post gonna be boring & wordy ! Mind you !

I'm too bored now while watching Crayon Shinchan on youtube ); & i'm a lil' sleepy alrdy . Gonna hit e' sack soon aft this post . Okay , i'm finally back home from e' hard weekends over at my grandma's house . It's rather fun instead of a hard one . Cos' i get to play ard with my cousin & baby is also staying over with me at my grandma's house . Awe isn't it ? We get to do craps while baby is crazy over his psp on e' wee hours . & my grandma house is too scary for me . Total darkness ! & i'm very afraid of e' dark . I used to sleep with my lights on & it leads to my room's light bulb fused now !! I'm using a standing lamp now ); It's not yet to be fixed . My dad is always working overseas flying to & fro . My mum ? Needless to say . =='

My fb is like so dead . I'm so not into my pet society alrdy . I'm gonna stopped playing for a moment . It rly gets way too bored for me now . Try e' vampire wars . It's quite nice . & i love my avatar ! I wanna play L4D ! L4D ! L4D ! Baby tried to install it into my comp . But this game dsn't seems to work for windows vista . How disappointed . & my fringe , could you please grow faster ? & e' longer e' better ! I seriously need a new haircut soon ! But as for my fringe length it's impossible for a new hairdo );

There's alot of prayers we need to do for my grandpa . & i think i'm too old for that . Cos' when i kneel dwn for not more en' 20mins my leg seems cramp & i can't stop moving ! ;/ Grand aunt says i'm disrespectful ); I look like a nerd over those days at my grandma's house . I'm lazy to put on contact lens , makeup & straighten my hair . W specs , wavy & no makeup me ! Omgsh can you imagine ?! But baby says he love me when i'm natural ! Weeee ;D

Oh ya ! I went for a swim with baby today @ safra . Due to e' weather i only get to swim 3 laps & off i head to e' bathroom for wash up . It's a disappointment to me ); & i watched Fast & Furious 4 with baby & my cousin ! Not nice leys ! E' tokyp drift one is nicer la ! Waste my money treat my cousin . LOL

It's been very long since i've wear nice nice clothes , killer heels & put on makeup ! & take nice nice pictures . Oh ya ! Think of that , i've been waiting for a mth plus gg 2 mths for my DUEBA LENS ! Angry ! Faster mail me laa , i need a new pair of lens . My current geo lens is making my eyes so irritated .

Mediacorp stars award make me so disappointed ! I thought e' best female lead will go to jeanette aw . But it goes to joanne peh . Damn damn damn !!

Now really damn ! Aft i typed finish this post i dn't feel sleepy at all . I wanna sleep !!!

& I DYED MY HAIR BLACK ! BLACK ! CAN YOU IMAGINE ? I DYED BLACK ! I still prefer my blond hair ); & i rebond my fringe ! So flat like pancake . I gonna highlight my hair soon ! (; Hopefully .

Can Dreams Be Turn Into Reality ?

Double , double yayyyyyyy ! Many yayyyy ! I'v dreamt of my grandfather . But this time round i didn't see him . I heard his voice once over again ! He called my hp ! & he all he said was ' hello , call me & he laughs ' & e' line went dead .. I know before he laughs i shouted over e' fone ' Gong gong ! Wo hen xiang ni ! ' Once i woke up i told my mum about it . & she said maybe gong gong wanted to tell us that he's happy on e' other world . Cos' he laughed (; Is good that he called me ! Cos' i can hear his voice which i may not to hear it forever on real life . & guess what ? E' num that he called appeared on my hp is my cousin's hp num !! & my aunt called my mum saying that she heard someone meddling with her room's desk like flipping thru things . Today is gong gon 3rd week of death . Chinese is ' san qi ( 3 , 7 ) ' .

You Can't Have A Rainbow Without The Rain .

It's 6.14 am now . I'm still wide awake ! I think i gotta popped few sleeping pills to sleep forever . I started to dread my life . I have a sudden urge to give up everything in life . I hope one day e' world would really come to an end . That's e' only way to solve it . Many things in life is uncontrollable . We can't change e' fact on where are we standing now , which family we're from , what gender are we etc etc etc .. If only i had a choice . I wouldn't wanna be a human (; I wanna be a bird w/o troubles & having freedom . Which can fly ard & roam ard e' world . W/o stucking at a certain area to have decisions to be made . I often think , if one day i departed from this world where would my next direction be ? Is there rly such a place called e' netherworld ? Would i met up with my grandfather there ? (; Ha . Maybe i'm missing him too much . Yes i rly am . I still couldn't get over it . I still cried w/o fail on bus & train when i'm heading school . Nothing beats kinship . Needless to say , i'm so closed to him . He's forever so great to me ! How i wished i could tell it on his face how great was he . There's a phrase ' nothing is always too late . ' It's a total crap . How can a dead person be alive by en' ? It's too late . I've wasted too much time . Many friends told me to get over it , how can i ? How can we ? How can my family & i get over it ? Do you all know he's e' 1st person that created such a huge impact on us ? I'v nvr cried so hard & bitterly before for a loss of relative ? I'v a feeling , a strong one . He has nvr left us till now . I'm sorry readers . Let me vent it all out . I know i'm being rather long winded . It can't helps .

I am tired of everything . There's no way to solve it . Family quarrels between small issue . Do you know how scary it is ? Do you know it is 100times scarier compared to quarrel with friends & boyfriend ? I'v never met such an incident of my family being like this before . We used to be so closed . We used to be a loving family . Everything is shattered . I dn't wanna carry on like this . Please .

This song reminds me of e' past . I really missed those past (; If only i have a time machine . I would really like to turn it back to when i am in Sec 1 . I would choose my friends wisely . & i would choose not to meet those who are with me now . It's a total chaos of who i am now !



I know smoking kills . Just let me smoke my life away . I wanna leave . I dn't wanna stay anymore . When it comes to have troubles , you'll know who are your best friends . Those who stayed with you . Not those who left you behind . I know who are mine . But i'll have to neglect em' for a while . Understand my situation (;

& my baby who is there for me 24/7 during these days . I rly appreciate that (; I rmbred one day while i was chatting with fangying during my grandfather's funeral . Fangying held my hand real hard & shouted ' MUMMY ! I SAW AH HOONG LEY ! ' I said ' Aiyah dn't bluff laa , he in camp how to come ? ' & en' i saw baby appeared ! Was so so so surprised & elated to see him there .

I love you all .

Beautifully Imperfect .

I realise , idk how to camwhore anymore .. Bear with those pictures .



Messy & nude look .


My nails ! Omg . I only gently pick up my handphone & en' ... it broke ! It broke ! Z !


Last sun went to bugis new shopping mall , ILUMA with baby . Most of e' shops are opened , but not all . Look at e' design . It's so cool . Those light bulbs form words at night .


& went to walk ard in bugis V . Bumped onto my ex colleauges Xiaomei jie & kelly . Miss em' laa ! :D & bought 1 top , highwaist short & 2 dress . & when i reached hm i realised on of em' dsn't fit me at all ); Putting up for sale soon . Visit http://www.shopping-at-faye.blogspot.com . New items up ! Support ah !

You got to try this . It's oil free ! I hate e' 2 phases oily eye makeup remover . But this is definately cool & oil less .


Newly bought eyelash curler with e' spring thingy .


Banana treaties from japan ! Yum yum !


& my gong gong (; I miss you many many !


Gong gong , faster come into my dreams okay ? I've so much to tell you (;

Sigh . Everything has been a mess for me .
Baby i need your hug now ); Faster friday !! I miss you so much .

I've nothing to say . Nothing to blog .
I'm running against time .
I feel like sleeping forever . Never wakes up .

If only i'm a sleeping beauty .

这次告别就不能再相遇

I still missed my grandfather . I dn't mind losing any of my friends . But not my family members . Why can't i meet my friends less to acc. my grandfather more ? My grandfather may find me very long winded now in e' other world . But i still can't let go of this fresh sudden incident . It happens too fast . Everytime e' train passed by khatib i would turn away & tear . Still i have to say , sorry gong gong . I did not play my part as a good grand daughter . I knw you dote on me very much . He's gone . Forever gone . I won't have any chance to touch his hands again .

Good nights .
Will not be blogging or using facebook on every weekends alrdy );
Have to stay over at my granny's place to take care of her .

I will miss Sshaylarose & my pet , Happy in fb !
Sians . My exp in pet society have to freeze for 3 days .
How can i chiong ?! Hmms , very sad *

I am selling off my clothes ! Interested buyers pls email me at baby--ibeliefs@hotmail.com .
Help me clear my wardrobe . Selling off at reasonable prices . Impulsive buys , brand new or in good condition .

#1


#2


#3


#4


#5


#6


#7


#8