14/1/11, e' day i fell so hard. So hard so fxcking hard on e' ground. I've nvr felt like this before. I nvr went so crazy before. I nvr felt any pain when i did e' bangings on e' wall repeatedly. At that point of time i find no one. No one was there. If only Mel & Adrian was here. I was dying alone, there's this person who was so heartless. Left me here went to e' club with his friends. Seeing those pictures so happy he smiled, he didn't feel anything. He said he feels fxcking upset. E' pain can nvr be compared to mine. He got his whole bunch of friends there. I'm just alone. Those texts he said he'll be there. He nvr fail to be there for me. Those were lies. Fxcken lies. I was too stupid. Stupid to fall in love. When i didn't love him enough, he ask why didn't i love him enough. When i love him, so what did i get? I nvr expect anything. Just a simple love life. But it wasn't enough. So tell me, what for love someone? If i didn't love him enough, i wouldn't went crazy that night. I wouldn't even bother if he's gonna jump. I wouldn't really felt how cruel love feels like. Thanks to you. I finally understand i really shouldn't love a person with all of my heart. I think it's enough. E' tears can't stop, e' scene can't stop replaying. I'm so tired. What did i deserve all these? If only i didn't met you. I'll nvr forget that day. This will go on with me, this hatred will go on with me. I'll nvr forget. Cos' i know a good turn deserves another. & a bad turn deserves another. So fxcking pain. Maybe this is a lesson. A great lesson that i learnt to eventually make me let go. Nothing can be mended anymore. It just happens. It does not happens for a reason. It happens cos' i can finally see your true colours.

Now i understand i can nvr be compared to a club. If only it was me. You'll be 100x more crazier en' me. Cos' it isn't you. You dk how fxcking pain it feels.

I'm too stupid. Those ppl out there treated me like heaven why didn't i even bother em'? Yet i'm being treated like a piece of shit. Only when you're alone you'll think of me.

In 2010, meeting you was nvr a great thing now. It's my biggest regret.

I swear, i'll nvr love anyone w all of my heart again. E' nightmare has just begun.