Before i share with you guys my post. I hope you all read as if you're walking a mile in my shoe alright. I guess everything happens for a reason. & here's e' reason. Well actually i dn't feel like posting any shit that is related to him. Guess this is for memories or maybe when someone asks me what happens i could just flash this page up it saves me a bucket full of hassles to re explain to my friends. & one more thing i can't get to sleep now.

Looking back in retrospect i knew him few years back when i was still schooling. Guess that was when i'm sec2. My friend had a crushed on him telling me how cute & good looking he was. I didn't gave any twice hoot about him cos' i was attached back en'. When i first saw him he was outside my school for idk what goddamnit reason. So .. we went on w our life. I rly have no idea where we got each other contacts. We did contact in between. He brought me out to town, he did smth & bla bla bla he vomited at orchard mrt st ( okay inside info i've to keep it a secret. ) & acc me to bugis to get my stuffs. Okay so e' in between details i shall just strike it off alright. Till 090210, he just text me out of e' blue. He asked about my Olvls. He said he wanna study & asked me to guide, give him my unwanted textbooks & stuffs. I was like ' Ohh okay? ' So we started chatting about random topics. & he was such a entertainer ._. Smth just strucked me like ' Hey he's cute! ' Ha. & he asked me where am i heading e' next day. Told him i had an interview in town. I gave up this job for his sake & my friend was so furious w me for not turning up e' first day. He said he can acc me there for my interv aftermath shop w him as well cos' CNY is just ard e' corner at that time. Well so went out w him e' next day. He rode me there w his bike. Aft my interv & his shopping. He brought me to henderson. Everything starts there .. (;

I'm continuing typing but i just went blanked for awhile. Whether e' caused is that i totally forgot our memories or i'm just trying to let it slide away telling myself not to rake up e' past, k whatever caused or reason dsn't matters anymore. Lemme just snap it short i dn't feel like typing no more. With him, whatever unhappiness i've on my mind just flushed it off for that moment. I felt that i'm so happy being w him. But he somekind of broke my heart during our 'fling?' period? I told myself just let him go dn't contact him anymore. Yet he came back, asked me to be his girl. Till then. Everything went so sweet. Till, i did smth wrong? Cos' i dn't have any faith in us. Or maybe trust? I'm so fxcking afraid to love again. So i went to meet my ex. He came my house to meet my mum. I can swear this is true. He got no intention of meeting but my mum. Maybe it sounds kind of ridiculous but well its e' truth. & he just dn't believed. We fell apart & got back tgt again. Everything was so diff aftermath. We're like quarreling for almost every fortnight. Cos' i couldn't stand his possessive-ness? He always go this thinking i lied & whatsoever. Until then, i broke off w him. & realised after weeks, I couldn't live w/o him. That's when i realised his importance. I begged him back. For him i can throw away my pride & everything just yearning for him to be back w me. I nvr knew he had no intention to catch me when i fall. Came to think of it i was so dumb to think he would. Ha. I've nvr been so dumb befr in my 19 yrs of life to wait for a guy. I did everything. I did e' best i could. I neglect my family and friends. I meet him everyday. I slept at his everynight w/o fail. Even how busy i was i would push away everything just for him. Wokeup early in e' morning w him sent him off to e' bustop & off he goes for work. I'll go home & wished e' time would tick faster till his knock off timing & have dinner w him. Back to his crib & this routine continues like for almost close to 7mths. I've been living my life w fear for almost 7 mths. You knw how does e' feeling taste like? It's fxcking tormenting fxcking hell painful. Well, he flirt w ltruckload of girls outside. I knew everything i kept my mouth shut to prevent a fxcking argument w him. I swallowed real hard for everything. I told myself its worth it. As long he comes back whatever i do it's gonna worth me a life time. Cos' i thot he was e' one at that point of time whom i wanna spent my forever with. Ha. I was wrong. I realised everything i did for him was in vain. Just went down e' drain. I even tell myself it's gonna be alright aft all this mess has been cleared. Just let him flirt, play & hurt me. I owe him a payback when i hurt him so it's his time to hurt me back. Didn't knew i'm treated as a fool. I'm not gonna say what i did for him. Cos' it's over. & i dn't see any need to list it out. I dn't fxcking gain sympathy from my readers. I just wanna tell myself ' hey girl it's enough. ' I'm fxcking moving on now. I left for a fxcking reason. E' reason will nvr be ' i stopped loving you ' e' reason is: i think i've done enough, if you wanna come back you'll come back but he says we'll nvr. I even deceive myself that he'll. But fact is never. & i can even tell myself its okay whether we have no status or not as long he's by my side i'm perfectly fine.

But now i finally woke up from this beautiful nightmare. I'm fxcking moving on & i've moved. I dn't need you in my life ever again. I nvr knew i could do it but sadly i did. Ha. & i've nvr shed a single tears.

Living under tortures for 7mths. Now my new life i'll make it FTW. & real hard. My life is so much more better off w/o you. My friends are back. I'm finally freed. Freed from your horrendous nightmare. I believe in karma. You'll taste my 7mths one day. You won't understand when you've walked a mile in my shoes.

This is it. 100210 no more (;

My post is abit messy. Cos' when i'm typing i falling asleep! Shall update a proper one e' other day.

Buhbye! Sleeeeeeep now.