Hello Stranger.

I'm not trying to pick a fight nor to knock senses into stubborn people's head. It'll just get to no avail. Just trying to reason out & for what i care what's right or wrong. You rly made me regretted being w you. My thinking wasn't like this in e' first fxcking place. It used to be ' love you once love you still, i always have & i always will. ' Seems like i've implanted a fxcking enormous mistake in my life which is ever being w you. Unnecessary rumours & being stab from e' back from your fee u wee bros. Thanks ah. Ey' nvr will comprehend how does it feels to walk this mile. Hey i'm not blaming you. But for all e' things i've done i just felt so unworth. I used to think everything will be worth in e' end. Guess i was wrong. Entirely wrong. Well, it's okay. You got your bros on your back, i've gone mine too steadily. Vice versa. How much awful or ugly stuffs that's spouted from their mouth my friends did it way much more uglier en' em' to say about you. I tried e' soft way. But it just dsn't works. I used to tell myself ' if i dn't cb, ppl will also cb to me. So why not i cb? So i wouldn't get hurt? ' So i'll knn cb all e' way. You made me do these. Just pray hard none of you ever falls into this misery. Cos' if you did you'll fxcking understand. What's e' use of holding on to grudges? I dn't hate all of you. I dn't owe all of you a fxcking living. If you think i'm at fault. So be it. It has nvr ever been a issue in my life befr & it fxcking will nvr be. I'll walk my way but just dn't intrude into my affairs. What's e' point of blaming? If all of you are each other pillar of strength would it even fall apart? C'mon la. Have you ever think what are friends for? Knowing him/her mistakes but still have her back all e' way supporting her? Reprimand him/her first but still you got to side her all e' way! Cos' this is what are friends for! Knewing their flaws yet trying to be understanding cos' him/her is just born this way?

Find it such a joke. Actually it dsn't matter much to be anymore. Cos' i'm out of that fxcking life/world. Just passerby in my life. What for? I'm not getting affected cos' ey' aren't even my friends. I've got way much more better stuffs to look out for.

For e' person i love. I'll risk everything to be w him i dn't care how fxckup i was being said. It just dsn't matter. Cos' you're all that matters. But you're making a fool out of me. Making me risk all these obstacles so unworth & unappreciated. I'm glad you're out of my sight out of my world. Cos' w/o you i'm so much more way fxcking hell happier. Your presence just sucks. This hatred will go on w me. Those 7mths of torture i'll fxcking hell rmbr. Your abhorness from me cfm up there. Thanks k?

Tio yam ka dulan is at e' back.

Dnt blame me if I've got too many guy friends. Cos I believe guys are more reliable en' girls. Ey' nvr took advantage of me instead ey' treat me and pamper me like their lil' sis. Ey' took care of me. When other guys try to come close to me ey' defend for me pull away e' guy. How can I not be contented w my current life? Ey' stood up for me always. I'm glad I'm out of e' past sickening misery. Cos that jerk nvr once stood up for me. He thinks all my guy friends getting close to me is trying to take my advantage. But he nvr knew diff ppl has diff mindset. He's that kind of bastard it dsn't makes all guys e' same. He thinks all e' guys think alike w him? Lol. He's a joke that hvnt came ard his idea. He makes me cherish my friends so much. I love all of you! (; & one day he'll bound to get whack if he conti to touch other guys girls. Watch out bastard.


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It's fxcking 3.13am now. Here i am enjoying e' ambience of my room. My fone can't seems to stfu. I'm having damn work tmr. Just too bored so here i am blogging. I shall jolly well hit e' sack aft this stix. Life's too great for me w my awesome friends ard me steadily. I'm glad i have em' all w me. Neverending of supportings from em' just makes my day! Haha. My job is so stressful! Fml. Intend to switch to a office job soon. But i just can't bear to leave this job. But i know retail will gets me nowhere in e' future. Just some savings for my further studies in e' future befr i get a stable job. Know what? There's this fxcking feeling on me now. Wonder it's a good or bad thing? Maybe it's a good one. Cos' i've got phobia w guys. Haha. Ey're jerks. But of cos' not all of em'! I just wanna play all e' way w/o stucking on a r/s. Enjoying bits & pieces of my singlehood. I've been in a r/s from all e' way since 13. So i shall put it to a halt now.

Goodnights earthlings. Chop chop tmr late for work. );

Before i share with you guys my post. I hope you all read as if you're walking a mile in my shoe alright. I guess everything happens for a reason. & here's e' reason. Well actually i dn't feel like posting any shit that is related to him. Guess this is for memories or maybe when someone asks me what happens i could just flash this page up it saves me a bucket full of hassles to re explain to my friends. & one more thing i can't get to sleep now.

Looking back in retrospect i knew him few years back when i was still schooling. Guess that was when i'm sec2. My friend had a crushed on him telling me how cute & good looking he was. I didn't gave any twice hoot about him cos' i was attached back en'. When i first saw him he was outside my school for idk what goddamnit reason. So .. we went on w our life. I rly have no idea where we got each other contacts. We did contact in between. He brought me out to town, he did smth & bla bla bla he vomited at orchard mrt st ( okay inside info i've to keep it a secret. ) & acc me to bugis to get my stuffs. Okay so e' in between details i shall just strike it off alright. Till 090210, he just text me out of e' blue. He asked about my Olvls. He said he wanna study & asked me to guide, give him my unwanted textbooks & stuffs. I was like ' Ohh okay? ' So we started chatting about random topics. & he was such a entertainer ._. Smth just strucked me like ' Hey he's cute! ' Ha. & he asked me where am i heading e' next day. Told him i had an interview in town. I gave up this job for his sake & my friend was so furious w me for not turning up e' first day. He said he can acc me there for my interv aftermath shop w him as well cos' CNY is just ard e' corner at that time. Well so went out w him e' next day. He rode me there w his bike. Aft my interv & his shopping. He brought me to henderson. Everything starts there .. (;

I'm continuing typing but i just went blanked for awhile. Whether e' caused is that i totally forgot our memories or i'm just trying to let it slide away telling myself not to rake up e' past, k whatever caused or reason dsn't matters anymore. Lemme just snap it short i dn't feel like typing no more. With him, whatever unhappiness i've on my mind just flushed it off for that moment. I felt that i'm so happy being w him. But he somekind of broke my heart during our 'fling?' period? I told myself just let him go dn't contact him anymore. Yet he came back, asked me to be his girl. Till then. Everything went so sweet. Till, i did smth wrong? Cos' i dn't have any faith in us. Or maybe trust? I'm so fxcking afraid to love again. So i went to meet my ex. He came my house to meet my mum. I can swear this is true. He got no intention of meeting but my mum. Maybe it sounds kind of ridiculous but well its e' truth. & he just dn't believed. We fell apart & got back tgt again. Everything was so diff aftermath. We're like quarreling for almost every fortnight. Cos' i couldn't stand his possessive-ness? He always go this thinking i lied & whatsoever. Until then, i broke off w him. & realised after weeks, I couldn't live w/o him. That's when i realised his importance. I begged him back. For him i can throw away my pride & everything just yearning for him to be back w me. I nvr knew he had no intention to catch me when i fall. Came to think of it i was so dumb to think he would. Ha. I've nvr been so dumb befr in my 19 yrs of life to wait for a guy. I did everything. I did e' best i could. I neglect my family and friends. I meet him everyday. I slept at his everynight w/o fail. Even how busy i was i would push away everything just for him. Wokeup early in e' morning w him sent him off to e' bustop & off he goes for work. I'll go home & wished e' time would tick faster till his knock off timing & have dinner w him. Back to his crib & this routine continues like for almost close to 7mths. I've been living my life w fear for almost 7 mths. You knw how does e' feeling taste like? It's fxcking tormenting fxcking hell painful. Well, he flirt w ltruckload of girls outside. I knew everything i kept my mouth shut to prevent a fxcking argument w him. I swallowed real hard for everything. I told myself its worth it. As long he comes back whatever i do it's gonna worth me a life time. Cos' i thot he was e' one at that point of time whom i wanna spent my forever with. Ha. I was wrong. I realised everything i did for him was in vain. Just went down e' drain. I even tell myself it's gonna be alright aft all this mess has been cleared. Just let him flirt, play & hurt me. I owe him a payback when i hurt him so it's his time to hurt me back. Didn't knew i'm treated as a fool. I'm not gonna say what i did for him. Cos' it's over. & i dn't see any need to list it out. I dn't fxcking gain sympathy from my readers. I just wanna tell myself ' hey girl it's enough. ' I'm fxcking moving on now. I left for a fxcking reason. E' reason will nvr be ' i stopped loving you ' e' reason is: i think i've done enough, if you wanna come back you'll come back but he says we'll nvr. I even deceive myself that he'll. But fact is never. & i can even tell myself its okay whether we have no status or not as long he's by my side i'm perfectly fine.

But now i finally woke up from this beautiful nightmare. I'm fxcking moving on & i've moved. I dn't need you in my life ever again. I nvr knew i could do it but sadly i did. Ha. & i've nvr shed a single tears.

Living under tortures for 7mths. Now my new life i'll make it FTW. & real hard. My life is so much more better off w/o you. My friends are back. I'm finally freed. Freed from your horrendous nightmare. I believe in karma. You'll taste my 7mths one day. You won't understand when you've walked a mile in my shoes.

This is it. 100210 no more (;

My post is abit messy. Cos' when i'm typing i falling asleep! Shall update a proper one e' other day.

Buhbye! Sleeeeeeep now.

I'm gonna be bored to death! No joke. This is e' damn reason that brought me here. See, I wasn't kidding in e' first place. So mad sleepy and bored at work now. Causing me to build stupid castles in e' air. Arghs! & I just realised this fxcken blogpress ain't working. It's not publishing my previous posts I typed w my life! I poured out all my thoughts in life & yet just vanished even w/o leaving a single alphabet in my drafts. So unkind! Just feel like quitting this job. Idk why? & my boss is gg overseas agn on nextweek & 8days are sure hell to me. Stressing about sales! Hate it. Fml please. Kthxbai.


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This is a angsty post. There's this fxcker, i've nvr seen anyone else more fxckup en' him. He's e' one who dsn't wants to be tgt. Okay fine. I dn't care cos' i nvr want to wait for him anymore. & all he does is to ask me decide. I say you want you patch if not dn't patch & dn't contact not even friends. He ask me decide. SMLJ LA FXCK. I decide alrdy he dn't want en' ask me decide gam beh lan ah? All he does is push e' blames to me. He dn't dare to ask me fxck off cos' i gt tons of reason to say he's e' one who let me go. & he's forcing me to let him go cos' he can blame me all he wants. NBCB. KNN BE A MAN LA. LIKE PUSSY. CCB. & FXCKING FLIRT. Gt one girl not enough you want how many girls? Dn't always act on innocent or one nice infront of ppl yet behind another story la. & whatever i did he wants revenge. Eh hello? How old alrdy? 22 this yr alrdy still 16yrs old mindset. I sit my friend car he say i slut? He at cab touch e' girl leg en' he's what? Make ppl laugh only sia. I alrdy knw e' truth he still want infront of me lie. Lol? Dk want laugh or pekcek sia when he lie. Cos' he can cover so well. WOW. Be w your friends more fun jiu say la. Everytime dnt dare admit. Dn't want patch cos' can conti hong say only la. Dn't need push everything to me one. What i decide? Decide your lan la. & he made me go all e' way dwn to mbk to see how he flirt. He dn't dare to let his new friends knw my existence. Power.

He's e' worst i've ever met. He has a girl thinking. Why is he born w a dick?!

Reminiscing. I miss my past extremely much. Can I like go back those happy moments & time just stops there? I dnt mind sleeping all e' way & nvr gonna wake up ever again but that happy dream spinning on repeat. Back on e' track. My life has nvr been so complicated befr. But I knw I'm gonna smile for e' happiness that happens on e' go instead of smiling back at memories. Memories are just memories meant to be kept. One will nvr move on if we're always burying ourselves in e' past. Dnt worry about those ppl in our past cos' there's a godamn reason that ey' didn't make it to our future. Lift your heads & let's dash across our future. I knw I'm gonna make it. I knw I can be happy, happier en' befr (;


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Life, too many disastrous events gg on. One look could kill. More like a masquerade event gg on thru this journey. Wearing masks to live, fake souls. They're all my ridiculous friends. Some are good some are hell. Trying to be nice infront yet stab you on your back. I can't handle it. Traumatic yea. But well, if ey' can do it why can't i? I can handle it so well now. I'm gonna be even faker. I can fake spontaneously. I can do way much more better en' em'. Once bitten twice shy. I'm not gonna make e' same mistakes again. For trusting some scumbag. Trusting dsn't takes place. So let's pretend tgt. If you're gonna be this way, its too sad for you. Cos' karma will fxcking hit you. Let's wait. I've got time way too much time to see you fall. Let's start this game now okay?

I'm laughing helplessly at some girls who got their karma now. & i can't help but to laugh it out all to my friends. Nice one. You deserve it. Trying to break ppl up ended up hurting yourself now. You can't even handle your life well yet you wanna be that noble lady who try to handle ppl's prob? Dn't be that busybody. No one's gonna thank you for your great achievement. Great job you've done. But you failed. My time of miserable passed. It's all of your turn now. Goodluck fxcktards. Taste e' feeling of sour grapes. Nvr attempt on something cos' you might hurt yourself endlessly in e' end. & rmbr something, what you've done to others there'll be a time where ppl do it right back on your face. Try it.

I love this song from final fantasy. Yea so fantasy right? Imagine if my world hurls w all those fantasy stuffs ... Wouldn't it be so great?



Work has been hell hectic for me. Working like dog! From e' previous week sat till now i've no off at all. & it's public hol tmr yet i still have to turn up ); Thot of gg for some shop till drop session but it's blown off by a text from my boss. Sadded T.T Turning in soon or else i'll be late. I'm late for almost every single day. Gosh.

Sometimes somedays I ponder alot. Whether isit a mistake an accident or a meant to be? I just find it so funny. We knew each other years back but we didnt even talk at all. But despite e' fact that we didn't talk we still meet up or contact few years back for a very short period of time & it stops again. But yet out of a sudden we're tgt in a weirdest way? Did we met by accident? I nvr thot I'll ever fall for you. Its not about having a perfect relationship, but it’s finding someone who matches you and you will go through everything without giving up.. But now I'm giving up soon. Thanks for your memories. Ey're meant to be kept.


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