14/1/11, e' day i fell so hard. So hard so fxcking hard on e' ground. I've nvr felt like this before. I nvr went so crazy before. I nvr felt any pain when i did e' bangings on e' wall repeatedly. At that point of time i find no one. No one was there. If only Mel & Adrian was here. I was dying alone, there's this person who was so heartless. Left me here went to e' club with his friends. Seeing those pictures so happy he smiled, he didn't feel anything. He said he feels fxcking upset. E' pain can nvr be compared to mine. He got his whole bunch of friends there. I'm just alone. Those texts he said he'll be there. He nvr fail to be there for me. Those were lies. Fxcken lies. I was too stupid. Stupid to fall in love. When i didn't love him enough, he ask why didn't i love him enough. When i love him, so what did i get? I nvr expect anything. Just a simple love life. But it wasn't enough. So tell me, what for love someone? If i didn't love him enough, i wouldn't went crazy that night. I wouldn't even bother if he's gonna jump. I wouldn't really felt how cruel love feels like. Thanks to you. I finally understand i really shouldn't love a person with all of my heart. I think it's enough. E' tears can't stop, e' scene can't stop replaying. I'm so tired. What did i deserve all these? If only i didn't met you. I'll nvr forget that day. This will go on with me, this hatred will go on with me. I'll nvr forget. Cos' i know a good turn deserves another. & a bad turn deserves another. So fxcking pain. Maybe this is a lesson. A great lesson that i learnt to eventually make me let go. Nothing can be mended anymore. It just happens. It does not happens for a reason. It happens cos' i can finally see your true colours.

Now i understand i can nvr be compared to a club. If only it was me. You'll be 100x more crazier en' me. Cos' it isn't you. You dk how fxcking pain it feels.

I'm too stupid. Those ppl out there treated me like heaven why didn't i even bother em'? Yet i'm being treated like a piece of shit. Only when you're alone you'll think of me.

In 2010, meeting you was nvr a great thing now. It's my biggest regret.

I swear, i'll nvr love anyone w all of my heart again. E' nightmare has just begun.

Just bcos' ..
someone flirts with you, doesn’t mean they like you.
someone likes you, doesn’t mean they want to date you.
someone dates you, doesn’t mean they love you.
someone loves you, doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you.

Some girls are just so naive to believe that guys are so simple. & some girls are slut enough to thinks that guys who flirts w em', likes em'. N-A-I-V-E! Stupid girls. I can't stand some girls who come over telling me that guy flirts w her likes her. In my mind i'll be telling myself ' She's stupid ' ._.

Oops. I'm a day late in this space! Happy New Year everyone! How's your new year spent?! I spent my new year at so many places. Blast! & finally after 3yrs i saw Fiona at Amber. & e' worst part was waiting for cab! Omgosh. Same like last year. It was like hell. All cabs either on call or busy. Asses. Was 2010 a bad year? Can't help to agree with it. Hope 2011 would be better & i can be happier. I guess i'm better off alone. Things are destined. Ha, people often enters my life in e' sweetest entrance & exits by e' toughest doors. I always built a wall against people to see who're e' real ones who care enough to break it down. Nonetheless, there isn't any. By typing this post i feel like crying. My tears are always falling so easily. I promised myself not to cry every year. Tried so many attempts but to no avail. Honestly speaking, who'll always be there? In e' end i'm still alone standing. I felt that my life are filled with miseries. Just when i thought those people could be a part of me & play a important role in my life, left me one by one. Why humans dsn't seems to understand? If you can't handle me at my worst you definitely dn't deserve me at my best. I've got so many things to say, but i kept everything nicely within me & e' next moment deleted it by my mind. Ha, felt so stupid. Wanted to say tons of stuffs, when it comes to e' situation everything just vanished. Is this a good or bad thing? Maybe i should try to say everything out that will make people understand. But what's e' use? Everyone's selfish. Nobody will think their in e' wrong. It's just my wishful thinking to think that people will understand. I shouldn't be angry so often, it causes me to lose sixty secs of happiness. So what for? Someone always say ' dn't treat someone as a priority when you're just treated as an option? ' I guess i'm e' option never e' priority. I hate everything about 2010, except meeting you. It was e' best part of 2010. Hope e' same goes to you too. Happy moments till then on 1-1-11. I'm gonna leave everything in e' lurch. Only bringing happy memories with me on e' road ahead of 2011. Just hope that you'll be happy, forever (; No matter how tough my road will be in e' future, i'm still gonna wipe of my tears & continue this journey ahead independently. Always e' last man standing.

Maybe i should just be like this song, 寂寞寂寞就好? Haha. That's when i know i'm e' best.